Good News:—You baptized seven people today in the river.
Bad News: —You lost two of them in the swift current.
Good News: —The Women’s Guild voted to send you a get-well card.
Bad News:—The vote passed by 31-30.
Good News: —The Elder Board accepted your job description the way you wrote it.
Bad News: —They were so inspired by it, they also formed a search committee to find somebody capable of filling the position.
Good News:—You finally found a choir director who approaches things exactly the same way you do.
Bad News:—The choir mutinied.
Good News:—Mrs. Jones is wild about your sermons.
Bad News:—Mrs. Jones is also wild about the “Gong Show,” “Beavis and Butthead” and “Texas Chain Saw Massacre.”
Good News:—Your women’s softball team finally won a game.
Bad News:—They beat your men’s softball team.
Good News:—The trustee’s finally voted to add more church parking.
Bad News:—They are going to blacktop the front lawn of your parsonage.
Good News:—Church attendance rose dramatically the last three weeks.
Bad News:—You were on vacation.
Good News:—Your deacons want to send you to the Holy Land.
Bad News:—They are stalling until the next war.
Good News:—Your biggest critic just left your church.
Bad News:—He has been appointed the Head Bishop of your denomination.